Today I was thinking about a text message I’d received in response to an invitation. The person had replied “I probably won’t be able to make it,” and for some reason it started to really bother me.
We watched “He’s Just Not That Into You” tonight and it continued my thinking from earlier. Why are we so afraid of being honest with each other?
My friend who sent me the text message could have said “I won’t make it” or “I can’t be there.” The use of the word “probably” made it seem like there was some small chance that they could come – even though the person had plans they weren’t even considering skipping. I even have certain friends that I continually invite places, and every time we discuss plans I know in my heart they will cancel at the last minute or end up being too tired or finding a reason to get out of something they seemed really excited for.
Obviously the movie we watched is about accepting reality and the very simple truth that sometimes people don’t need to be read into. The problem with this comes in people’s inability to be completely truthful with each other. We like to tell half truths or almost truths or even flat out lies. I’m guilty of it. You’re guilty of it. We all are.
Have we become so politically correct that we carefully package the truth so that it becomes something it’s not? My friend Mejee is getting his lip pierced tomorrow. I am so distraught. It makes me very sad and I’m already prepared to hate it. He knows this, though. I didn’t say to him “you should maybe wait” or “have you thought about it?” or “tell me why you want one” or “really? your lip?” Instead, I told him – repeatedly, and very passionately – that I would be very upset if he got his lip pierced. He’s still doing it, and I will have to get over it. Our friendship is in tact, he doesn’t hate me and I don’t hate him. My honest opinion was given, and it didn’t affect our friendship (his piercing will, though).
The Bible says that the truth will set you free; that is, the truth is liberating. But only if it is put into action. Stagnant truth is worthless. It’s like having a savings account of $5 million dollars you can spend only after you die. It has so much potential to change so much of your life, but will never be utilized.
So let’s all step up. Let’s be honest with each other. Sometimes the truth is brutal enough, so we don’t need to be inconsiderate of each other’s feelings. I dare you to reject invitations to events you want to go to, to give your friends your honest advice or opinions, and to be bold in disagreeing with someone you love. If our friendships are based on always landing on the same ideas or opinions, then our friendships are one-dimensional and do not add much depth to our lives.