Truth: I have an abnormal fascination with serial killers.
My mom is fascinated with forensics and profiling and how really bad people are caught. Ever since I was little, I’ve been aware of what serial killers were and knew about certain ones.
In the late 1980’s, my town had a little serial killer of its own, Westley Allan Dodd. Before he was hanged in 1993, my dad drove me past the house he’d lived in and recited a whole bunch of information about him to me. Then, on the night of his hanging, my parents let me stay up and listen to the radio broadcast of his execution. After he was declared dead, we all cheered and then it was bedtime.
For as long as I can remember, my mom has always been reading Ann Rule’s true crime novels. They are of particular interest because she is a local author and frequently writes about local crimes. In fact, my uncle testified in the case documented in her book Dead By Sunset.
As technology advanced, television shows related to the catching of murderers began to pop up, and we were hooked. A few years ago Mei-Ling had me watch Law and Order: SVU. After USA caught me up on nearly every episode (thanks to their constant marathons) I almost immediately jumped ship onto CSI. Claiming loyalty only to the Las Vegas CSI team, I slowly warmed up to NY… and then Miami.
However, my fascination with these shows as come to almost a complete halt, because recently I discovered Criminal Minds. What’s the point of having watched countless Ted Bundy documentaries or having read tons of books about the gruesome crimes committed by these awful people – all it does is glorifies them. What I have always found fascinating, perhaps even captivating, is that a person could do these things.
I have a really bad temper. When I get super pissed, my ears turn red and I clench my teeth. There have been times I’ve been close to picking up a child and throwing them against a wall, or running my car into someone. But I never do. I’d never be able to. So how could these people do it?
Since I first heard about criminal profiling years ago, I’d considered that to be one of the hardest and coolest jobs in the world. I figured that I’d have to go through a lot of school for that, so I passed on pursuing it.
But once a week I get to sit down with my friends on TV and pretend like I am a criminal profiler, trying to figure out what pieces of themselves they leave in the execution of each crime. Last night as my mom and I watched, we both agreed that we don’t really like the violent scenes.. we mostly like when the team is trying to figure out the unsub.
Strangely, because I’ve always been exposed to such violent: heinous: gruesome crimes, I have a very high tolerance for appalling behaviors. They still disgust me, but they don’t shock me.
Side note. Who actually kicks in the door in real life? The CSI’s, the BAU, the detectives…??? Each TV show portrays it differently.
and ps do not be fooled. I think serial killers are icky and messed up. no morbid adoration or admiration here. vomit!!