An open letter to the boy who thinks a girl will save him.

Dear boy,

I am too nervous to bring this up to you privately because I am worried you will mistake my concern for jealousy or territorial girl crazy.

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot of flirtation. Between you and girls. Girl, maybe. It came out of nowhere and it’s apparent in all social networking platforms we share. I’m sure there is some other form of communication happening between the two of you in a more private venue, but still…

You are fragile. Boys are supposed to be all tough and put together and strong.. but your poor little heart has been through hell and back, and it’s on the mend. It needs time. It needs to heal.

Right now, you don’t need a girl. You don’t need a girl to make you feel important and you surely don’t need a girl to save you from whatever pain still lingers around in your life. Girls like to save boys. They like to find a boy who has been wronged and is a bit jaded and closed off and reserved, because they want to be THAT GIRL. They want to be the girl that changes everything.

Except most girls don’t understand that while your trust or loyalty or affection might come slow, it will come strongly.. perhaps even overwhelmingly so, because you have finally found someone who you think will save you. Not all girls are like this, but generally the ones who see you as someone needing to be saved are.

Don’t accept shallow flirtation. You are better than that, and you deserve more. One of the most beautiful things you can do for that girl you have not yet found (or realized) is to keep strong boundaries between you and people who are not Her potential. You can’t erase your past loves and devastations, but you can slowly build a new foundation, built on a serious, intentional friendship with clear expectations and potential.

She will not save you. Jeff Buckley once sang,

Don’t fool yourself, she was heartache from the moment that you met her.
My heart is frozen still as I try to find the will to forget her somehow… I think I’ve forgotten her now.

Watch your heart. It takes longer to repair than you think it does.



2 thoughts on “An open letter to the boy who thinks a girl will save him.

  1. Pingback: An open letter to the boy who thinks a girl will save him. « just … Apple Boy

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