The subject of this blog could very easily be misconstrued as some sort of emo, self-hatred post.
John Mayer once sang “when you’re dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part.”
I just think that waking up is the worst.
Sleep is really weird to me. It’s borderline creepy. Bradley and I did Sleepwalkers together at camp once, and I commented on how I hated walking around the sleeping camp, knowing that everybody was laying down horizontally in a zombielike unconscious trance. Just laying there. Not moving. Just laying. So creepy.
Anyway. As weird as sleep is, I do love it. In fact the worst moments of my day is probably when I wake up. I hate everything about waking up ; the process of being woken up (even if it is my body coming out of sleep, completely rested), the discomfort you suddenly are aware of (having to pee, your feet sticking out from the blanket, your pillows on the floor, a cat on top of you) and facing the fact that soon I will have to defy gravity and stand upright.
So this is what I think of waking up, as I was waking up:
AND. Even once I have gotten out of bed and made my way all the way to my bathroom, my unhappiness is still plastered all over my face…
but soon I remember how fun it is to be awake, and then I am excited to be awake and alive.
plus having my glasses on and being able to actually see the world probably helps.
In conclusion, being awake is awesome……. but the process to get there SUCKS.