This has been a crazy week.
There are a lot of situations that need to be covered in prayer.
Last night I was walking to my room and in my head kept repeating “Lay them down. Lift them up. Lay them down. Lift them up.”
Laying them down.
My burdens, my guilt, my things that keep me from approaching the Lord confidently and boldly. My sins, my unbelief, my greed, my pride.
Lift them up.
A few days ago I found myself in the Nurse’s Station for a very unhappy ear. As I was sitting on the porch waiting for the nurses to come back from breakfast, Gretchen told me about the tragedy at Crags/Gilmore. I kept it in alright until I was laying on the bed, frustrated at my ear. Suddenly my heart began to drip out of my eyes and I couldn’t stop crying. For my friends, for their friends, for the pain, for the hurt..
I’ve been praying for Hannah’s mom. Today after our commitment service, the program staff all stood around and prayed. A few minutes after I prayed, I realized how many of my friends are hurting for a variety of reasons and I suddenly began to draw my prayers back inside of myself. In my heart I turned angrily away from God, frustrated at his silence and his stillness. How can he watch us suffer and remain unmoved? As I continued to pray for Hannah’s family throughout the day, my heart softened and I realized that all I can do – all any of us can do for either situation – is pray.
My journal is full of moments where I am full of frustration at the Lord, questioning his goodness or his love, but always knowing that the most appropriate place for me to express these concerns is at the feet of the one I am questioning. It occurred to me recently that God himself said in Isaiah that our ways and thoughts are not the same as His; so of course he is willing to put up with our frustration and exhaustion at trying to figure it all out.
I will lay down every part of me so that as I lift them up, the Lord looks on me in favor and in love and will hear me. Moses stood before the Lord and demanded of him. I shall do the same, demanding that God prove his love to us in every circumstance, in the midst of every storm. I will do it expectantly.
Please pray for Crags/Gilmore as they are grieving and seeking healing. May those placed there to help them be given words straight from the Holy Spirit, words to bring peace and comfort and rest. God be with them.
Please pray for Hannah, her family and her mom. God created our bodies, he is in control of them, and he alone is the Healer. Pray for healing and for comfort and assurance of the love of God. God be with them as well.