I’m not really the hopeless romantic type at all. Which confuses people sometimes because I have such a fondness for weddings. Weddings are not the same as romance, though and I am drawn more to the beauty of them than any romance they have to offer. Pretty flowers, decorations, matching things all over, creative little touches.. yes, those are the things that keep me buying bridal magazines and carefully piecing together a wedding of my own someday.
But when it comes to love, I’d just prefer one big honest lifelong commitment and trust that love will grow out of that and hearts turned towards God.
I also think it is silly when girls make little journals for their future spouses. Not that I haven’t tried one before.. but I found myself writing with a bias, assuming I know who would read it one day. Plus I realized that I am not that interesting to anyone, so I could just tell them the stuff by re-reading my journal. There’s just something about it that seems really weird to me.
But the other day I was thinking about song lyrics, about lyrics that I know mean something but don’t hold much value to me right now. Lyrics I’d like to one day say to another person in conversation, that they’d know I didn’t think up myself, but that explain more than my own words could. Words about love and feelings of fondness and affection. Cute lyrics, like the kind that end up in people’s Facebook profile informations and stuff. Lyrics that could maybe be on a not overly sentimental but sentimental enough Hallmark card.
That’s why I wish I was in love more than anything. So that those lyrics could take on a bit more of a reality in my life. So I have been thinking, and don’t turn your backs on me or lose respect for me or anything like that, but I’ve been thinking that you know how girls sometimes make journals for their future persons? I would like to make a notebook for my Person, filled with quotes that I hope one day express my feelings towards them. But it won’t be like 90 pages full of song lyrics, you know. I’d like decorate each page and stuff. So I’m thinking I will do that once I get all settled in. and I will pray for my Person, that they will find my meager attempts at creativity endearing and that I won’t regret the decision to be slightly sentimental about the thought of it all. Mostly that I won’t regret having shared the whole tangent in my head on the internet for everyone to see.