This morning I woke up with a hangover. An emotional one, if you will. Yesterday I cried for the first time in weeks, and I made up for lost time by really letting it all out. So this morning when I woke up, I felt even worse than yesterday. My head hurt from crying, my eyes felt sore, my fingernails have been chewed down.. and I mostly wanted to stay on the floor and enter right back into my cocoon of emotions. Then I remembered that today I would go to a new church. After cross-referencing a few different churches and services, I picked the 12 pm service at Faith Community Center in West Covina. It’s close, I’ve driven past it before, and… well I woke up too late to go to any other service at any other church.
Deep at the heart of my emotional wounds is an even deeper spiritual wound. I can’t really explain it, I just feel it every time I try to do anything. It’s been slowly eating away at me, and my cries yesterday were focused on God, aimed towards God, and received by God.
How do I know it was received? Because today I sat in a room full of strangers, tears dripping out of my eyes and down my face. I shared in communion. and then I heard these things.
Attempt great things for God and expect great things from God.
By faith we speak to the mountain and say move. By patience we stand until the mountain moves.
There is a faith that is fatal to the enemy.
How do we grow up in God?
- obey completely and immediately even if you don’t understand.
- give generously even if you don’t have enough – it’s an investment
- trust lavishly, even when you don’t feel like it.
How do we increase our faith?
- The Word
- exercise (constant use)
- trials, tests & temptations
pain is inevitable. misery is optional.
I’m terribly homesick. Today reminded me that I will experience this the entire time I am on earth, because nothing on this earth can satisfy the deepest longings of my soul. God give me strength.