Technically March 5th, 2011.

Matters of the heart.

It’s overwhelming.
It’s overwhelming me.
It’s overwhelming my friends.

My friends are starting to realize how invested I’ve been allowing myself to get when it comes to CG, and I think they are going into protection mode. Because a lot of them are not fans of CG. Not because he is a bad person – he is honestly one of the best people I know – but because this kind of investment rarely has an equal return.

But part of me knows that and will see it out anyway.

Have you ever seen Totally Blonde? Not Legally Blonde, mind you, but Totally Blonde… this really great {read: awful} movie featuring an early Michael Buble? There’s this part where he proposes to Meg, and she’s turning him down but he’s trying to hold on to hope, and at one point his sad little face says “…so you’re saying there’s a chance????” as if the idea of even just the thought of something small and insignificant MAYBE, POSSIBLY happening was worth holding out for.

That’s how I feel.

I feel as if I will endure every kind of imaginable heartache for the SMALL, TINY, CHANCE POSSIBILITY that CG might one day – even for a brief moment – think “…what about Stephanie?”

So I guess my friends are wise in getting protective, because I’m starting to get really stupid.

But you know why? Because he is honestly the best man I know.
and yes. I said “man”… which is a big deal because usually I stick to “girl” and “boy.” But he is a man.
and he is the best one I know.
If only you could know him. You’d like him, too.
but until then, be protective. and pray. for me a lot but also for him.

and a big thank you is owed to Taylor Swift for being the soundtrack for this over the past few months, particularly “Sparks Fly,” “Fearless,” and “Enchanted.”


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