March 7th, 2011

Today I am having a quiet, meditative day.

A few weeks ago one of the cadets preached about praying without ceasing and how that means including God all throughout your day. I see it as a seamless weaving of God throughout your life; and I feel that I do this, praying in my car and while washing the dishes. Thinking on the Lord frequently and with passion. But that does not replace the peace I get when I am on my knees with my head to the floor, concentrating on God. It is the only time I receive real peace. The other times are for venting or asking for patience or wisdom or discernment, but is never really about sharing with the Lord and resting quietly while he responds.

For the first time in a long time, I prayed like that. and now I am quiet.

As I was making lunch, this song came up on shuffle. It is now on repeat as I sit quietly and think about the Lord.

I used to live my life in fear
was worried all the time
From waking up to laying down
I had no peace of mind
The world became a darkened place,
a struggle without end.
Although bitter times those were
the days that I began to understand
I was only a man.

I grew up singing songs in church
with questions in my mind,
then turned my back and ran away
from God who gave me life.
Then one night, his presence fell;
I wept and shook and then
I fell down and cried, Dear Jesus
rescue me again. I understand
I am only a man.

Then He said,

What will it be now?
Will you choose me
or keep swimming upstream now?
I’ve been inside your head
hearing you scream out.
Well here I am, just take my hand
and I’ll take out all of the pain
and all of the fear.

I’ll give you my burdens.
I’ll give you peace.
All of my desires.
I’ll give you what you need.
and what about these chains, Lord?
I’ll set you free.
But they’re so heavy…
Lay them at my feet.
I’ll lay them at your feet.. just promise you won’t leave.
I’ll never leave.
So where do I go from here, Lord?
Just follow me, just follow me.
I”ll follow you wherever you lead, wherever you lead..
wherever you lead.

and so it is with a quiet heart that I will begin to prepare myself for the Lenten season. In a day when everything we do is broadcast, may we all be secretly fasting in order that we may rid ourselves of distractions and become more like our Lord in our selves, not just our statuses and shares.

Also – my friend LaTrice posted this great article about why women should not pursue men. I needed the reminder. —

Will you be giving anything up for Lent? if so, what??


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